The Sun is going down...

"If anyone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen." (1 John 4:20)

I have been troubled for the last two months by this section of 1 John. I find it difficult to "love" my "brothers," or, "the church."

Anyone that knows me knows that I am a critic of the North American church. What you may not know is the extent of this "criticism." I hate the church. I hate it passionately. In class today I watched Roger and Me by Michael Moore, and when it showed an ignnorant Christian preacher preaching about how faith will bring material prosperity to a group of desperate people who have been layed off and evicted... It makes me question my faith in God. Seeing how seriously off-base the "evangelical Christian subculture" is makes me question if God even exists let alone showers his "blessings" on our "wonderful nation." Of course, questioning God has never got me anywhere.

What really makes me doubt is that I'm called to love the church?! But the church is full of materialistic capitalist bigots who would rather put a fish bumper sticker on their car than feed a starving child. (And God forgive me for thinking I'm better, me who owns over 200 cds) The church who calls itself pro-life, yet supports a war in Iraq that kills hundreds of innocent children. The church that is racist, sexist, self-righteous, and obsessed with image to the point of being pathetic. I mean, there are Bible colleges, run by people I respect that demand that students where suits! That is so pretentious! I'm really sure the freaking homeless man you're preaching to is damn impressed that you're richer than he is.

As you can see, this causes me difficulty. If I am so indignant towards my brothers, then how can I love God?

God gave me an answer today, while I was having a conversation with a non-Christian about my pro-life position. Our conversation was not confrontational. We discussed the issues in an open forum. My points included the following:

• People like George Bush who claim a pro-life position yet kill innocent children are not really pro-life.
• It is not an issue of women's rights, but of human rights. It is scientifically proven that the moment a sperm and egg connect that that embryo will under all natural circumstances grow into a baby and be born. It is a human. Since the right to life is the most important right, the mother's right to her sanctity of self ends where the baby's right to life begins.
• Abortion is not a good answer, adoption is a better solution.
• Abortion is actually a way of devaluing women. If sex doesn't equal pregnancy, sex becomes a commodity. Women's bodies become objects.

After I mentioned these, he conceded that I had made many good points that he would evaluate.

Since we were discussing hypocrisy, I brought up the above verse and said I find it difficult to love the church because the materialism of the North American church is such bullsh*t. I then mentioned that some Christians would immediately question my faith cause I used the word "sh*t." This reminded me of a quotation by a Baptist minister in New York City, which I will paraphrase for you. From a message to his congregation: "There are millions of starving children in the world. And you don't give a f*ck. What's even more sad, is that most of you care more that I just said 'f*ck' than you do about the starving children." Then, my friend said: "That's it! That's what I hate about organized religion!" (The lack or care.)

I responded, "But this comment came from someone on the inside. There is hope."

Then as he walked into his house it hit me: I can love God's children, the church, the people... and still hate the sterile bubble that we live in as a culture. By just being real with people, I can challenge their views of Christianity... aand by being real with Christians, I can challenge the accepted "standards" of the North American church... which by the way, are strictly North American.

But first, I must challenge myself to fully live for Christ... to be truly devoted to bring him glory and building his kingdom. Only then will I myself put aside my own materialism and actually pick up my cross and follow Christ.

Won't you come with me?

I don't believe this is what God ever intended
I think it's time to go

The sun is going down
I say we follow it out of town.
We've been here for far too long,
but will they know we're gone?
And in the morning when it rises
Maybe it will shine for us-
Mark Salomon, Stavesacre.