this could be the title.

yes, I am trying to hurt you.

It appears as though I haven't said anything to you recently. At least, not anything obvious, the general how I beens or things are greats. I think I may have forgotten how to talk about things things that are straightforward, possibly banal, but normal, the everyday life. You know, how each morning I get out of bed and read from the book of Isaiah then get on my knees and pray. Except of course for today, because I didn't do either of those things this morning even though I should have. Or how after that I wash my hair, comb it down over my forehead and then wipe it with a towel to give the appearance of a messy windblown look, which is of course entirely premeditated.

yes, I am an atom bomb.

Or how I go to school every single day and read poetry by dead people that changes the way I look at the world, yet leaves me completely void of edification or any idea of what I can do to make it better. God says that I'm supposed to seek justice and that he doesn't give a crap about all the stupid songs that I sing or all those stupid words that I pray so sometimes I wonder why it is that I sing songs, or why it is that I pray; and that's when I remember that the reason why I do both of those things is because God tells me I'm supposed to. Its funny that God doesn't care.

I think that I might shatter
into infinite shards of stained glass
church windows
to press against your arteries and
make you remember.

I sometimes don't think that God really cares. Maybe its that he just doesn't care very much. Well, at least he cares about the things he is supposed to care about (if "supposed to" has anything to do with an omnipotent God). Or maybe he just cares about all the things that I don't think I like to care about and he doesn't care about the things that I know I like to think I care about. But so it goes I guess.

yes, I remember the words you said,

The idea of seeking justice confounds me, how am I supposed to accomplish anything when even those that I am seeking to help don't

Justice is a funny thing. I mean, weren't we all just a bunch of gasses and chemicals according to what you'd like to believe and apparently we
all have value and are important in the grand scheme of the infinite universe in which we are grains of sand. You say you see the world in a grain of sand. I see a useless pile of energy consuming waste producing matter.
Humanity is worthless and everyone on this planet should just die. Especially you.

I remember hearing "love" in there somewhere.

So this is the attempt at discussing those things that you ask when you say "how are you?" those things in the morning when I'm brushing my teeth and I wonder if anyone else ever thinks the things that I do,

never meant to
sever
your arteries with my tongue

but,
sometimes you need to

bleed.