Failures of the past (or, why I hate youth group.)
As my mind often does, recently, it has wandered back to 2001.
For those of you who do not know, 2001 was significant because it was the year I became a Christian, the year I started going to church and youth group, and for most of the year I was in what has proved to be the longest lasting and most "intimate" relationship I ever had with a girl. (And I mean "intimate" in good and bad ways.)
I have come to hate youth groups. Again, for those of you who aren't part of the North American evangelighetto, a "youth group" is often held at a church, and is designed to be a place where Christian kids can be socialized with other Christian kids. It also acts as a form of social conditioning. Kids hang out with their safe Christian friends listening to their safe Christian music and "evangelize" any non-Chistian friends they have by bringing them to over-emotional, noisy, "youth-rallies" where many teens make a hyper emotionalized "decision for Christ" that they are terribly incapable of following up on.
Now, even though I hate certain parts of the youth group culture, I must admit that during my two years in one, I learned a great deal about God and made some good friends at the time. I even enjoyed some of the youth rallies.
Of course, eventually I became the standard "disgruntled Christian kid" and swore off youth groups because of their flaws, an forged ahead alone. I picked up some nasty un-youth group like habits, such as listening to "secular" music, and using some choice naughty words at times.
The biggest problem with youth groups is their rate of failure. The following is a re-cap of my youth group experiences at my former church.
DISCLAIMER: In no way do I want to slam those who went to, led, and were involved with this youth group. Nor do I wish to diminish any positive experiences that I and other had in this group. I want to, by ways of illustration, show the general failings of the youth group subculture using a case study.
When I began at the YG, there was about 8 people, including two girls. Within a year, due to some passionate members, we increased to about 20 members with many girls. There was a period of great organization and commitment in which many people seemed to be drawing nearer to the Lord. However, the group fostered gossip, and eventually some of the most passionate members up and left, then everyone else just slowly dwindled away.
Out of the 20+ people in that group, I still have contact with a mere 4. I konw of at least 2 people from the group that I would not classify as Christians. There is at least one who has adopted bad liberal theology, and one who has become so disgruntled with church that he will no longer even go. The current group at the church has about 8 people, and shows some promise.
But here's the problem: there is always a few people whose passion carries the group, and without them, the group falls apart.
I call for a reformation of the system. I will strive for one.
5 Comments:
You must of course realize that Noah's YG experience is not representative of Youth Groups in general - my YG experience was largely postive, beneficial, and only mildly sheltering (much of the sheltering was self-caused in fact). So maybe it's just me, but as much as I see your points totally, I think they are far too subjective in nature: they rest on your own experience and your assumption that it is a standard, which it may be, but my own experience does not line up with yours, so there is a schism of sorts.
Maybe my perspective is 'tainted' from being saved at a younger age, but I believe that Youth Groups done right are an incredible blessing to Teens forced to face the rigors of an increasingly secular high school system that seems bent and determined to undermine their faith. The fact is, Christian teens NEED to know they're not alone - they NEED good Christian friends to lean on and struggle through high school alongside, and they NEED things like Youth Group as a touchpoint and rally point to get them through the week sometimes. Youth Group, in my view, is absolutely essential and I likely would not have surived/overcome high school without it. I would not trade it, nor the lessons and friends I made from it, for anything.
Jer,
I totally understand your points on this. I didn't want to come off entirely negative, but I may have.
Youth group is dfinietly positive in that it gives Christian teens a place where they can learn and grow in their faith with other believers. This part of youth group is awesome.
My problem is with the tendency for some (not all) youth groups to be focused too much on appearances. And also, the tendency for many youth groups falling apart, with many members forsaking the faith they claimed... meaning that they were already lost and no one noticed...
If youth groups focus is to create a positive environment for teens of numerous backgrounds, maturity levels, and heck, even of different socio-economic statuses to get together and grow in Christ then the youth group is accomplishing its purpose.
However, if the YG is a flashy "alternative" to "secular" culture that does little more than act as a social network that listens only to safe Christian music and does safe Christian things... then not only does it fail; it tarnishes the name of Christ.
BTW, Thanks for the thoughtful and valuable comment.
Hello Noah,
Just thought I would post a little thought before I head to bed.
While on one level I can understand your issues with certain youth groups, I wanted to offer how my experience differed. For me, youth group and youth rallies were a way for me to see that I wasn't the only Christian teenager in the entire world. That there were other kids around me with the same beliefs and the same desire to live for Christ. And it was also an opportunity to help out other teens who were just starting their relationship with God. The fact that youth group differed so much from high school was a real relief to me. And sheltered though it may be, I really feel that teens need a place to go where they don't always have to be on the defensive about their beliefs.
I am also really thankful for the opportunity to go to youth rallies. It's true that on the exterior it may seem that teens make emotional, rash decisions to dedicate their lives to God here, and that the majority never keep them. I know for me throughout my teen years I made decisions at such conferences and there were times I really struggled to keep them. But the truth of the matter is that in the back of my mind, I remembered the decisions I had made. The decisions I felt God had placed on my heart. That God had called me to live a certain way and I knew that. And that sort of thing kept me from doing alot of other things I was tempted to do. That plus the support of my church and youth group.
I really believe that a God focused, as opposed to peer focused, youth group should be encouraged. And this is largely the responsibility of the leaders, as being peer focused (and self focused for that matter!) is the natural tendency for teenagers. But I think that good youth groups do exist and depsite numbers, a large or small group can accomplish amazing things for Christ together, and grow in God individually as well.
If you've made it to the end of this very long ramble, congratulations. If not, I understand. Talk to you later Noah!
~Kelly
Kelly = awesome.
Again, thanks for pointing out the other side. (Gee, I need to be inflammatory more often.)
Funny thing... This morning like, 5 minutes ago, I was thinking about how you haven't commented on my blog in a while, and how I haven't talked to you in like, a year. (Seriously!) Problem is I don't have your contact info... heck, I don't even kno if you live at home any more. Phone me or e-mail me sometime.
e-mail = salonoah@hotmail.com
Hey bro, I don't think we've met (that I know of) but I'm a friend of Jerry's and stumbled across this blog from a comment you posted on his in the recent past.
I don't really have as negative an experience with my youth group past, but I really identify with what you're saying. I think what it all boils down to is expectations--not just for teens in youth group, but other areas--like adults in the church at all, or in my case graduating Bible school and watching my peers fade off into nothingness and go back to working jobs that don't match the dreams I knew they once had to touch the nations or change the world for the Gospel.
It's very easy for anybody, not just teenagers--to get frustrated at what they see wrong, and then opt out, rather than realize all of us are flawed human beings and "wherever two or three are gathered there will be a fight" --ok that one is not Scripture, but people will always be like that. If you can take your energy you have about what you notice needs to change, and channel it then you will at least find more of a focus on how to deal with these things. Much of our structure of the church is flawed and based on ideas and not prayer and devotion to Jesus and what He wants of us. Therefore when working with an imperfect system we will have imperfect results and need to realize that and work from there. Not that you implied it or said it necessarily, but my experience with my twentysomething friends that are getting offended at everything they see wrong with churchianity is to stop plugging into a church at all, and then that last end has been much worse for them as the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking them that are alone and isolated from their pack. Only one friend I can think of has gotten back up and is being restored, but others have let themselves get so offended they are off doing who knows what now.
I applaud that you at least recognize and strive to do something about it "I call for a reformation of the system. I will strive for one." Let's get on with it together in our own ways in our own spheres!
God bless
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