Unto Death?

This is not a study but an observation, in terms of studies within the next few months I'll be posting an essay on the Spiritual Gift of Discernment (expect 3000+ words), and possibly a quick(?!) study on 2 Timothy 3. But until then, this:

I've recently been saddened by noticing the amount of Christians(?) I know who are fallen away from God/the church. I will not name names, as this is not Noah's rumor mill, but there is at least 10-12 people I know, of different ages and backgrounds, friends/mentors/pastors and others who at one point showed an intense love for Christ but now are disgruntled and don't give a crap.

All of them people who taught me about God, molded me into who I am today, and influenced me specifically in my Christian life. The part that really sucks though is that these people mostly didn't just wake up one day and decide that Jesus wasn't for them, instead it was a result of being fed up with the church's hypocrisy and/or being pushed away from the church by other Christians. Once void of fellowship, they were left to Spiritual predators and Satan the ravenous lion had his way with their souls. I feel there is nothing I can do to reach out to these people from my past.

For the record I am a firm Calvinist. I will go along with Charles Spurgeon on this one... I have my own private beliefs regarding biblical doctrines and "Calvinism" is just a nickname given to "the Gospel." I believe in salvation by grace alone through faith alone. I believe in the inherent sinfulness of humanity from conception, and in the divine election of the Saints by God unto salvation. I also firmly believe in the doctrine of eternal security, that once one commits their live to Christ that nothing, no plot of man or the devil, even of themselves, can loose them from the grip and love of God.

When I see my fallen friends I am left with two options that either, a) they never knew Christ to begin with, or b) they do know Christ and are backslidden. Neither option appeals to me but both are in agreement with Scripture on the topic. I do not claim to understand this, but it makes me really sad.

We are not resurrected unto death, but unto life, and once one has tasted of that life why would they again choose death? Why do I so often choose the rotten death of this world over the freedom inherent in the Gospel? Do I care about my eternal soul? Do I love Jesus? Is God my father or my General? Do I truly understand that God's will is one of blessing and not of cursing? This makes me want to scream expletives at the top of my lungs.

Will I stand among those to whom Christ says "well done good and faithful servant" or will I stand among the deserters shamed by my sin and my pathetic stupidity?

oh God forgive me