More updating

So it turns out that there is a coffee shop that is near the church that has free wireless internets!!! So I went to Bethel Tabernacle... turns out it happens to be the church that Caroline Cuthbert attends... also turns out the preaching was awesome so I think I'll be going there regularly. Today I need to get in contact with Sybil somehow... kind of hoping she gets her internet going or that it is not too expensive to phone her on a pay phone... the reason being I'm already downtown and I don't want to walk the hour back home to phone her then walk an hour back downtown to meet her for the movie.... argh

Anyway, Kingston is being good to me so far, and God is certainly faithful. I don't take it as a coincidence that the church that Jim pointed out to me is also the church that Caroline goes to... I will choose to take this as a hint from God that he wants me there, after all, I don't believe in coincidences.

Another interesting thing: I received an e-mail today from a woman that I haven't heard from in a while... she is one of the people who helped lead me to Christ over six years ago at Alpha in Norwood... apparently she reads my blog! It's funny what the internet can do.

That's all for now, I have to do some reading for my essay that is due on the second day of class. I guess this whole grad school thing isn't a party after all, byes.

Unto Death?

This is not a study but an observation, in terms of studies within the next few months I'll be posting an essay on the Spiritual Gift of Discernment (expect 3000+ words), and possibly a quick(?!) study on 2 Timothy 3. But until then, this:

I've recently been saddened by noticing the amount of Christians(?) I know who are fallen away from God/the church. I will not name names, as this is not Noah's rumor mill, but there is at least 10-12 people I know, of different ages and backgrounds, friends/mentors/pastors and others who at one point showed an intense love for Christ but now are disgruntled and don't give a crap.

All of them people who taught me about God, molded me into who I am today, and influenced me specifically in my Christian life. The part that really sucks though is that these people mostly didn't just wake up one day and decide that Jesus wasn't for them, instead it was a result of being fed up with the church's hypocrisy and/or being pushed away from the church by other Christians. Once void of fellowship, they were left to Spiritual predators and Satan the ravenous lion had his way with their souls. I feel there is nothing I can do to reach out to these people from my past.

For the record I am a firm Calvinist. I will go along with Charles Spurgeon on this one... I have my own private beliefs regarding biblical doctrines and "Calvinism" is just a nickname given to "the Gospel." I believe in salvation by grace alone through faith alone. I believe in the inherent sinfulness of humanity from conception, and in the divine election of the Saints by God unto salvation. I also firmly believe in the doctrine of eternal security, that once one commits their live to Christ that nothing, no plot of man or the devil, even of themselves, can loose them from the grip and love of God.

When I see my fallen friends I am left with two options that either, a) they never knew Christ to begin with, or b) they do know Christ and are backslidden. Neither option appeals to me but both are in agreement with Scripture on the topic. I do not claim to understand this, but it makes me really sad.

We are not resurrected unto death, but unto life, and once one has tasted of that life why would they again choose death? Why do I so often choose the rotten death of this world over the freedom inherent in the Gospel? Do I care about my eternal soul? Do I love Jesus? Is God my father or my General? Do I truly understand that God's will is one of blessing and not of cursing? This makes me want to scream expletives at the top of my lungs.

Will I stand among those to whom Christ says "well done good and faithful servant" or will I stand among the deserters shamed by my sin and my pathetic stupidity?

oh God forgive me

church

Today Rachel and I went to Elim Family Worship Centre instead of our regularly scheduled church for a couple reasons, first Steve is gone tree planting and second, our church is showing a boring video series.

So Elim it was, within walking distance and I know the Pastor. I certainly enjoyed the service but could never go to the church regularly because of some doctrinal friction. However, this service was quite profitable because it reminded me of what our church is missing and therefore the reason that I am a member of Riverside.

Notably the service included both the proper use of prophecy and tongues. And by "proper use" I mean as described in 1 Corinthians 14, with only 1-3 people doing so, one at a time, and the tongues with interpretation. The tongue speaking itself was distinguishable as being a real human language with actual syntax, morphological structure and natural sounding inflections, and the interpretation translated it with the same tone and structure. It gave me chills because so far my only experience with "tongues" is what I would call either fake, or even Satanic. However this was certainly the real deal. Rachel laughed at me because apparently my face had a look of amazed shock the whole time!

Operating in the Prophetic is something that is taken for granted in more Charismatic churches, but it is something I strongly desire to see my church embracing, but without a change in our Reformed theology of course.

We had to leave the service early though because Rachel was feeling sick and I had been awake for 20 hours and needed to sleep for tonight's midnight shift. But yeah, just thought I'd report, see y'all later.

reflections

I am feeling drawn to a study of Ecclesiology (that is, the study of church structure). Mostly I want to look at the positions of Pastor, Elder and Deacon in the New Testament and compare it with how we are (and by "we" I mean my church body) structuring leadership in the church. Ideally I want to chart an effective plan for approaching the church with biblical leadership practices.

I will only be there for four more months, but I would like to make it count. I met with Pastor Norm yesterday and we discussed some of these matters. I offered myself, literally, for "slave labour" (e.g. all the jobs that no one else in the church wants to do that I will have time to do). He has some ideas, we'll see where we go.

After TCF I can't see myself in a teaching position for a while. I'm all "teached out" at the moment. I see this as a season of reflection and personal learning before I can enter into another teaching or discipling role within the body. We'll see how it goes, but the Lord may have other plans as he so often does...