Best and Worst of 2005-2006 Academic Year

This is something that I did last year, and I have a feeling that it is a good idea. This helps me to think about the things that have happened and guage my growth. Last year was very intense intellectually. This year, I've noticed, was very intense emotionally. All I can say is, I deal better with the intellectual stuff than the emotional stuff. I tend to try to hide my feelings.

So, here we go, the best and worst (generally in the order it happened) of the past 8 months:


Best:

• Getting to know Todd and Natalie
• The first positive relationship I've ever had
• Going to my dad's for Christmas for the first time
• Modern Poetry class
• The months of November, December, and February
  
• Starting the dps with Todd
• Writing poetry that I will not shudder at in the future
• Meeting awesome new people: Erin, David, Val, Kari, etc.
• Discovering great poets such as Dennis Lee and Christian Bok
• Growing closer to God
• Actually attending a TCF retreat
• Not having four essays due in three days
• Writing a creative essay
• TCF reform
• Being elected on TCF Exec for next year
• Getting a signed copy of Dennis Lee's Riffs!
• Having "my socks challenged off" as Todd would say

Worst:

• History 250... worst class ever
• Translating 100 freaking lines of Beowulf every week
• Having an essay due two weeks after class is over
• The whole month of September
• Con-Ed
• Missing Matt Good's Toronto show
• Having to read two books in two days and then write an exam on them
• "Social" difficulties...

So, there you go. Hopefully you had an awesome and exciting year as well!

Day 2 (of 8)

Day 2 of 8 days in a row working, seven of which are midnight shifts. Leaving for work in 20 minutes. Planning on being really tired at church tomorrow.

Expect more frequent posts due to summer being now.

Have fun, God bless.

Going to Tronna with an aching in my neck

That's a reference to Led Zeppelin in case you missed it.

Yesterday I went to Toronto with Jerry and Cindy. It was pretty cool, and we didn't get lost! And only had to ask for directions twice!! Yeah!!!

I didn't buy a lot of stuff, but what I did buy is awesome:

Books:

1. Flannery O'Connor- The Complete Stories. (This is a book I've been trying to find 4 years now. Inevitably O'Connor's stories end with someone brutally dying, and even though it's predictable, she always catches me off guard).
2. Dennis Lee- Riffs. (Dennis Lee is my favourite poet. This is my favourite book by Dennis Lee. And if that's not good enough, it's signed. That's right, it is signed! I guess he did an in store appearance and they had some left over or something. Anyway, sweetness!)

CD:

1. The Fire Theft- S/T. (This band is 3/4 of the Diary-era Sunny Day Real Estate. Since I love SDRE, it's pretty hard to not love this!)

I'm working eight days straight. That is so gross. See you later.

"Out of the pan..."

Life altering moments.
You know, those moments that change everything. The moments that make it impossible to look at anything the same way again. The moments that you always go back to, years later, realizing that it was a significant time of change.
I've had a few of those this year.

Intense.

On having a bloody lip and reading the Gospel according to John.

Notice a trend here? It seems that my past two posts have been about pain and reading the bible. Hopefully the former will stop and the latter continue.

Last night was Junior High, and during one of the games I got to play the unfortunate role of Satan, chasing the kids. At one point, when I was about to brutally tackle one kid, his best friend, in a valiant effort to protect his friend, jumped between us.

His head hit my lower jaw at full force, and one of my upper teeth went about a quarter of an inch into my lower lip. Then we fell into the garden.... and I spent the rest of the evening spitting out blood. Yum.

And now for something completely different (again)...

For the past three years I have been consistently drawn to study the Holy Spirit, and notably I have spent the past two summers doing in depth study. It looks like this trend may continue...

Last night I was studying John 14 and 16... and one particular statement hit me pretty hard (in the bawling my eyes out, jumping up and down kind of way):

"I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you." (John 14:20)

That is such an amazing verse. At first it may seem redundant, " you are in me, and I am in you," but this is actually saying two different (and awesome!) things. Here is the logic:

• Jesus is in the Father (because of the trinity)
• We are in Jesus, if we "believe in our hearts and confess with our lips that Jesus is Lord" (Romans 10:9). Therefore we have access to the father at any time, unlike the Jews who needed to make animal sacrifices.
• Jesus is in us (in the context of the chapter this is referring to the indwelling of the Holy Spirit).

So that's awesome...! Not only are we saved from our sins, but we also have complete access to the Father... and on top of that we have the Holy Spirit in(!) us, giving us conviction, assurance, and power!

This is truly the greatest thing in the universe, no exaggeration, and I wish that everyone knew this. Hopefully via this post a few more will... and hopefully those of you who do know this will rejoice in it.

death God coffee poetry & other stuff

death

I almost died yesterday. Seriously.

I was walking down the street wondering what it would be like to get hit by a car (yes, morbid, I know), and I got to an intersection and waited for the little man to flash.

Cue: little man. Blinks.
Noah steps into intersection.
Enter stage left: Speeding, red light running car.

So this car speeds past two inches from my body going at least 70km/h. Two inches.

Two more inches and I would have been over the car's windshield and my head smashed on the ground. Let me tell you. I repented.

Dear God. I am sorry that I did not pray or read my bible this morning. And I'm sorry that I drank one too many beers at Easter dinner. And that I did not thank you for the food. Amen.

So why didn't I die?
Yeah, that's right. Why not? I was close enough to the car. There's lots of amazing people who are much nicer than me who die in terrible ways every day.

So why am I alive? I was close enough to the car that God is saying something.

Jesus, why did you spare me?

God

If I have learned anything this year it has been vicarious. I have not been a good student. I have only had good teachers. So why don't I pray? Why don't I love Jesus? I think I love Jesus, but I don't show him.

(And now for something completely different)

coffee

Natalie and I went out for coffee at Starbucks today. She put up with me drooling at the poetry section. Then I read Foxtrot while she drooled over the knitting section.

I bought an Americano and a low-fat blueberry muffin. I bought her a frappucino.
Then she bought tea, and bought me a frappucino.
It was quite funny really.

Natalie is a wonderful friend and a wonderful person. She enriches my life (and the lives of many others). I can see Jesus in Natalie.

poetry

I went to the library today to pick up the book I had on hold.... and what a book! Nightwatch: New and Selected Poems 1967-1996 by Dennis Lee. He is my favourite poet. This book contains all his best pre-un poems. It's awesome. I would like to buy it but it is hard to find. Hopefully I'll find it in Toronto when I go there next Wednesday.

other stuff

That is all I've been thinking lately. By the way, I wrote a post on speaking in tongues a while ago... I don't know how many people actually read it. Please do, let me know what you think. Steve and David, I will respond to your comments, eventually. I may just end up e-mailing you guys, but we'll see what happens.

Bye.

noctural creature of the night

Starting May 1, 2006 I will be working full-time midnights (Sun-Thurs) at Tim Horton's. That means I will be noctural. And I'll be staying up really late on my days off. Oh, fun.

sessayss

I tso finihshd my finel sessay!

triple skinny

I would like a

triple skinny,
2/3 decaf,
half chocolate,
no whip,
grande mocha.
Oh yeah, extra foam.

To go.

squishy, squishy, squishy

This photograph was taken at the final "Who is God?" bible study that was led by Heather and I last year. This is a picture of me squishing Natalie's head. I have a way with the ladies don't I?

The New National Anthem

Jesus, I know you love me.

__________________

On Sunday September 24 2006 I am going to go to The Word on the Street festival in Toronto. This is an annual nation-wide event that sponsers literacy programs and fosters awareness of local writers in each of the cities it takes place in. I really hope that Dennis Lee is there... although I'm sure if I saw him I would become a blubbering idiot. It would bee nice to see Christian Bok as well.

pine

pine (1) n.

1. Any of various evergreen trees of the genus Pinus, having fascicles of needle-shaped leaves and producing woody, seed-bearing cones. These trees are widely cultivated for ornament and shade and for their timber and resinous sap, which yields turpentine and pine tar.
2. Any of various other coniferous trees, such as the Norfolk Island pine.
3. The wood of any of these trees.

pine (2) v. intr.

1. To feel a lingering, often nostalgic desire.
2. To wither or waste away from longing or grief: pined away and died.

________________

Today was the first TCF Exec meeting. The new exec is now completely official. It's super scary. Tonight I have to edit my essay for my OE class... the third edit! So this time it should be somewhat easier (hopefully).

________________

I'm planning a trip to Toronto, mostly to browse used book and cd stores, so if either of those (or both!) are up your alley, the trip will be on Wednesday April, 26 2006. We'll be going early-ish and probably taking the midnight bus home. (Lots of fun!) The more the merrier so save your pennies. The reason we're going on Wednesday is because the Greyhound bus offers a reduced ticket rate (around $10) if you bring a canned food item for the food bank. Anyway, it would be nice if you told me in advance if you're coming, and buy your ticket early. You'll also need to buy a TTC day pass, lunch, and supper in Toronto, so in total that's about $40 from the get-go, just so you're aware.

________________

I have pined. You have pined. We all have pined. We collectively fear the dreaded ing.

I fell in love with fashion in the dark

This year has been a year of change. Ever read the original Cinderella? In it the two ugly step sisters chop off sections of their feet to try and fit in the glass slipper... that's what I feel like. God has been chopping off portions of my pride so that I can fit into the image of Christ. It hurts.

Whenever I have started to rely on someone or something too much this year God has cut it off. I was smug in my theology, but it has been challenged and changed.

Todd has been a mentor to me, challenging me, shaping me, driving me absolutely insane... but he is now moving away.

I'd like to say that Natalie taught me how to be tender... but unfortunately I'm still pretty abrasive... but I did learn what it means to love someone in a pure way... I did learn what a Christian relationship is supposed to be: sacrifice.

I thought that being elected for TCF Exec would be bad for my pride... so far it's having the opposite effect... I am so thankful for the godly examples of the people on exec... I respect them and look up to them as spiritual leaders.... but next year I'll be in that position. That's terrifying.. but in the way that makes me want to pray.

I've been listening to this song by Deliriou5? lately, and it really speaks to me... is God all I want?

All I Want is You

Did I tell you it was wine,
when really it was water?
I walked upon the wine,
it went to my head and I faltered.
I've tried to heal your bones,
I've tried to tell your future.
Maybe I should just call up some friends
And play some music, be myself.

Well I've been thinking about
what I do and say
To climb my way down this ladder,
keep me from flying away
And if there's a preacher here,
will you come and preach the truth?
I wanna know more about Jesus, yes I do

All I want is you
All I want is you now

Did I tell you it was fine to come and question nothing?
To look upon the sign as the answer to it all
Oh why do I feel poor?
Why do I feel nervous?
I think it's time to put on my God shoes
And do what I'm here for - raise the flag again

All I want is you
All I want is you now

Can I be free from the chains of my religion?
They wrap around my head
and they blind my eyes of faith
And I feel dangerous 'cos I hunger for the truth
This tightrope's swinging high
No turing back
Teach me to fly

(Martin Smith)

Speaking in Tongues

I don't often post bible studies on here but I've been wanting to do this for a while.

The issue of speaking in tongues is perpetually contentious, and personally I've never known exactly where to stand on it. I was saved in a Pentecostal church but received much of my teaching in a baptist-style church, and if that's not enough to confuse me theologially I don't know what is!

I'm going to approach this with as little bias as possible, relying only on the text itself and a Greek dictionary. A truly in depth study would also consult works by theologians, but I am purposely avoiding this to make my reading "pure." (Noting that I am a sinful man and it is impossible to shed all bias).

So, this is going to be a chapter study of 1 Corinthians 14:1-25 (the most definitive teaching on tongues in the entire bible) I will begin with some background info from chapter 12:

What is Speaking in Tongues?:

1 Cor 12:8, 10 (ESV): "[To one is given through the Spirit] ...various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues"

• "Tongues:" Gr. glossa lit. the physical tongue in the body. This word is also used in greek to mean "language"
• "various kinds:" Gr. genos very interesting word choice, literally means "different generation, different nation, different offspring." The word appears as though it should be refering to people.
• "interpretation;" Gr. hermeneia lit. "translation"

So, an extremely literal translation of this text would say something like: "To one is given the languages of men from many nations, and to another the ability to translate these languages"

It should be noted that, implicitly, the speaker of the "tongues" does not know the language he or she is speaking (otherwise it wouldn't be a gift!) It is also implied that the languages are real human languages that could be understood by a native speaker. (This is clearly the case in Acts chapter 2 as well).

This letter was written to the church in Corinth. To their credit, they desired to use the spiritual gifts, but to their detriment, their motivation was wrong. The Corinthians desired to use the most noticable gift (tongues) as a claim to their spirituality.

Paul argues in chapter 12 that all the gifts are important, and that they are distributed according to God's will. There is no "spiritual elite" who have more of God's Holy Spirit than others, because every believer has been baptized in the Holy Spirit, and each gift shows an equal measure of the Spirit's power. All are needed for the church to function properly:

All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills. For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body--Jews or Greeks, slaves or free--and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many.
(1 Cor 12: 11-14, ESV)

Now, on to chapter 14. The chapter is set up in a rhetorical style. The argument often begins with a positive assertion followed by a negative comment and then a stated or implied application. This can be shown in the style "[A], however, [B]. Therefore [C]" In this next section I will sum up Paul's statements using this formula (which has its limits but for the purpose of this study will work). Note that I will be offering interpretation of Paul's thoughts, and I will be stripping each idea down to what I think is the main point. Also note that the context of the whole chapter is corporate worship, and Paul is teaching specifically about the use of the gifts in group setting. I suggest that you have your bible open to this chapter and read these points along with it.

It is good to desire the Spiritual gifts, in a loving way
however
some gifts are suited better than others for certain events
therefore
in the context of corporate worship prophecy is better than tongues.

Speaking in tongues reveals the mysteries of the spirit
however
only God understands them
therefore
prophecy (which everyone understands) is better.

Speaking in tongues builds up [edifies] the speaker
however
it does not build up [edify] the church
therefore
it is better to use a gift that builds up the church (like prophecy)

Paul desires that everyone would speak in tongues (because it's great!) He desires even more that everyone would prophesy (because its really great!)
however
It is God (not Paul) who distributes the spiritual gifts. God does so as he desires, not as we desire (cf 1 Cor 12:4-7)
therefore
not everyone will speak in tongues or prophesy (cf 1 Cor 12:7-31).

Prophecy is greater than tongues
however
if an interpretation is given then tongues are just as great
therefore
Public speaking in tongues requires interpretation.

Speaking in tongues does not build up the church and is entirely useless without interpretation
however
it will build up the church if it is interpreted
therefore
people who speak in tongues should pray for interpretation as well.

The (human) spirit prays while speaking in tongues
however
the mind is unfruitful at this time
therefore
Tongues cannot replace regular prayer, teaching, and bible study.

Paul is thankful he speaks in tongues (and more than everyone else!)
however
in church Paul would rather speak five intelligible words to instruct than ten-thousand words in a tongue
therefore
The role of preaching and teaching is more important in the church than the manifestation of tongues.

Speaking in tongues is a sign to unbelievers to convict them of God's power
however
if everyone speaks in tongues and no interpretation is given the church will look insane and the unbeliever will not be convicted
therefore
Interpretation is absolutely necessary, as are prophecy and teaching so that the unbeliever will be convicted of his or her sin and accept Christ.

In summary, Paul is teaching:

• All believers are baptized in the Holy Spirit.
• Each believer receives (a) gift(s) as God wills.
  
• Each gift shows a manifestation of the Spirit.
• Each gift is equal in power.
• Speaking in tongues involves the use of real languages.
  
• In corporate worship, prophecy is generally better than speaking in tongues.
  
• Tongues are good too, but only if they are interpreted.
• Speaking in tongues is not a replacement for normal prayer and teaching.
• Along with prophecy and teaching speaking in tongues will convict unbelievers, but only if the tongues are interpreted. Otherwise, speaking in tongues will deter unbelievers.

This study argues different points that are both charismatic and fundamentalist, but does not settle on either extreme, but instead seeks a valid middle-ground that values the use of the Spiritual gifts but does not lift some gifts up as more important (or better "signs") than others. Hopefully I have argued a balanced perspective that is biblical and not based on a particular theological ideology. I apologise for any perceived or actual biases or incorrect information; this is undoubtedly not the last time I will revisit this issue.

Thanks for reading this long post. I pray that you are edified by it, God bless.

PS: I have a lot of homework due in the next two weeks, so feel free to leave comments but don't expect any detailed responses for a while.

Saying goodbye and saying hello.

Pretty soon, I don't know what, but something is going to happen.

Time can kill the greatest of men.
Even the strongest find themselves on the floor.
It Doesn't have to be this way.

Time keeps moving on and on.

Fragile time
can not waste again.
Fragile time
can't be laid to rest.
Fragile time
can lead you to the grave or
fragile time
can start eternity.

It kills their walk,
I watch them wash away.
Its all worth while.

Time goes on.

(Josh Scogin)

Awesome Day

Listening to: Anthrax- Be All, End All METAL!!!!!!

Today was killer. I got called in for a 4 hour shift and it was SO freaking busy.... line up to the door from 11-3, so much fun.

Then I had dinner at Montana's with my parents. Apple butter BBQ rib tails with garlic mashed potatoes, baked beans and a pitcher of Rickard's Red. So good... so very good. By the way, Shannon who works at Montana's is the best waitress ever. She deserves an award, really.

After that we stopped off at Zeller's, and while looking through the cd section I found Anthrax's two-disc best of Anthrology: No Hit Wonders (1985-1991) for $16.99(!!!) Sixteen freaking ninety-nine. I can't believe that these stores will sell a 12-song Nickelcrap album for $21.99 and sell over two hours of the best metal ever for freaking $16.99. Oh well, fun for me. Oh yeah, if you're a Christian read the lyrics to "Make me Laugh." Let's not be like that, k? Songs like this hurt to listen to, and although I think the band crosses the line on a few of the lyrics, it helps to realize that this is how the world sees us... and we need to evangelize people who think this way... my dad thinks this way, and I'm the only one who can prove to him that Jesus ain't about the mammon. So let's go show people love. I bet Scott Ian would be pissed off that I turned his blatantly anti-christian song into a sermon, but oh well... I hope he reads this. Jesus loves him too. Hmmm.... the line "Rape your past..." is especially apt.

Anyway, I've been getting my kicks writing narrative poetry. Read some.