(SELF-TITLED)

Listening to: Zao- The Dreams That Don't Come True

Adventures are cool things.

On Saturday I slept 8am until 9pm, and then stayed up in the wee hours of the morning and did household chores. I like to sing songs and vacuum at 3 am

"...It's three in th' mornin'
And I'm not tired!
It's three in th' mornin'
And I'm just wired!
I like to vacuum in the morning
It stops it from being really boring..."

After this I listened to some wonderful free jazz and danced around the house.

Sunday was Church and I had the privilege of teaching the Junior Highs about "tast[ing] and see[ing] that the Lord is good." I have to figure out how to teach these ones again. I forgot that with Junior Highs, you have about ten minutes before they get all figety. Tackle duck-duck-goose for the win, all the way. The "farmer's field" experience was also wonderful.

After churh Steve, Sarah and I went to Oshawa. We stopped at Deja Vu Discs (one of my three favorite used cd stores), and I picked up Kind of Blue by Miles Davis, and (finally) (Self-Titled) by Zao. It's certainly their most interesting and unique album, and the more I listen, probably my favorite as well.

We then went to Teddy's for late lunch / early supper. This is truly one of the best restaurants on the face of the planet. It's worth driving to Oshawa just to go there.

We also went to The Granery a weird little convention centre / restaurant / coffee place just outside of Bethany. Sarah fell asleep in the back seat and Steve and I talked about our "girl troubles up the ass" (as Gordan Gano would say).

We closed the day by visiting the Stephens' and planning our "Young Adults" camping trip. (PS, there's one spot left, so if you are a "young adult" of about college age and like camping, join us. Meaghan, this means you. And you have NO excuse, you'll be in town Trenting it up a notch anyway...)

Anyway, I'm gonna rock the Zao and clean my dirty body... then I shall go mow the lawn, even though it doesn't need it. I wouldn't want to disappoint my Dad though.

Only four days til Toronto time.

Adventures

Listening to: The Ornette Coleman Double Quartet- Free Jazz This is the most crazy-go-nuts music ever. Picture eight musicians (Two drum kits, two double basses, a trumpet, a pocket trumpet, a bass clarinet and an alto sax) separated into two quartets with different leaders, playing a crazy free jazz jam that has little structure and no imposed chord progressions. Oh yeah, it goes on for 37 minutes. Crazy Jazz is cool.

So tonight is my last day working till Monday. Next weekend is time to go to my Dad's in Toronto.

This Sunday, Steve, Sarah, and I are going on an "adventure." In other words, we're going to drive somewhere random, and do random stuff. Yay.

In a lose, lose situation.

Yesterday was a bastard, but it's over.

The dream is dead. (You know what I mean...)

There are some things that I miss...

I miss the feeling of utter conviction I had upon first believing in Christ.
I miss the innocent fun of first attending a youth group at 17.
I miss the feeling I had when I fell in love.
I miss the feelig I had when I first heard the song "Bloodwork" by Living Sacrifice.

I miss the anticipation of going to visit Jim for March Break.
I miss the scared and uneasy feeling I had when seeing my Dad for the first time in 10 years.
I miss the weakness I felt upon first reading the book of Revelation.

I miss Petar Lausevic. And Meaghan Culkeen. Shannon Culkeen.
I miss God speaking to me.

"Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on."

Darker in that secret place.

I need to be more like Jesus.

(That doesn't sound nearly as profound as I wish it did).

I've been a jerk lately to those that matter most. I have argued with Sarah constantly...urting our friendship... and I can't remember when I last talked to Jerry. And that's never good.

Frankly, these are symptoms of the larger problem... the fact that I don't take God seriously, and that I haven't been reading the Bible or praying as I should.

Lack of Bible study + lack of prayer = aggressive, inconsiderate, irritable, unwise, potty-mouthed, jerkface Noah.

This is a problem.

Please forgive me.

I will learn to repent instead of saying sorry.

Please help me to be more like Jesus, however you can.

(I'm afraid the Light will set me on fire).

Sleeping

Must go to bed soon, have to work 11-7.

For those of you that care:

Bedside reading list:
The Bible (ESV and NKJV)
Walt Whitman, Selected Poems
David Dewey, A User's Guide to Bible Translations
Stephen Adams, Poetic Designs
Charles C. Ryrie, Dispensationalism

In My CD Player:
Blindside, A Thought Crushed My Mind (Remastered Edition with Extra tracks)
Ninety Pound Wuss, Short Hand Operation
Violent Femmes, Permanent Record: The Very Best Of
As Cities Burn, Son, I Loved You at Your Darkest

Night.

A variation on William Carlos Williams

This is just to say

I have eaten
The Freedom
That you had
In your soul

And that
You were entitled
to since
Conception

Forgive me
You were instrusive
So small
And so bold

I Danced Before I Had Two Feet

Listening to: Violent Femmes- Rejoice and be Happy "We are the salt of the Earth, if we're not salty, what are we worth?"

Hello everyone. Well. August is 1/3 done... That means it's almost school time.

On the last weekend of August I am going to Toronto with Jerry to visit my Dad. We also plan to do some crazy shoping. I've decided to buy practical things that I need... such as a new wallet, a new belt, and some clothing. I also want to pick up some poetry books and maybe a couple graphic novels. Of course there are some cds I'll be looking for... But I've decided I can only buy cds that I believe to be classic, and that I know I'll listen to for years.

Tonight I'm going to a "Missions Committee" meeting for church. On Sunday Chris Jardin is preaching at Peterborough Free Methodist. I should go. Of course I'd have to find a way to actually get there...

Alice Cooper just released a new album and I didn't even know. I can't believe it. I'll have to pick it up soon.

Today I spent $3691.35

That's right... $3691.35... yay for tuition. Scholarships are a wonderful thing, if it wasn't for them, my tuition would be $5691.35. God has provided me with all the money I need for school, therefore I can use more of my money for offerings, as well as use more of my time for serving. These are wonderful things.

God has led me in my decision to lead the Junior Highs at my church. The way he led me to this decision is by the labour laws of Canada. This school year I am able to work Thursday and Friday nights, and Saturday days. BUT... due to the new labour laws that stipulate that I must have 11 hours between shifts, I can only work two of those days... Therefore, I can work Thursday night, and Saturday morning... and do Junior Highs on Friday and The Bridge on Saturday... and still have Sundays off to focus on the Lord... and on homework. Isn't that wonderful? I've got a lot of ideas for events and everything.

I'm excited for this coming year.

27 hours and counting...

Listening to: as cities burn- Terrible! How Terrible for the Great City!

I worked 11-7 last night. Then I came home and bathed... then I got my pay cheque and got together with my (biological) dad, Sarah, and Jamie.

We ate at Subway. I got two cds: as cities burn- Son, I Loved You at Your Darkest and Permanent Record: The Very Best of Violent Femmes.

Good stuff. My dad jokingly asked me to buy him a bible, so I decided to take him seriously and bought him one. So, that's like, four ESV bibles I've bought for other people. I should go on commission for Crossway or something.

I've been awake for 27 hours.

I'm officially an idiot.

Okay... my weedend:

Saturday: Sleep till 4:00pm after working midnights... Phone up Jerry and go to the bridge... realize its still JULY and not AUGUST (Bridge is closed...)

Sunday: Church... My house for lunch with SARAH (YAY!) and Steve (who's also pretty rockin')... Chicken Caesar pitas, made by me and Steve. Go to Dairy Queen. Go to park, have bible study on 2 Peter 1:3-11. Go home, get together with Jerry to go to NPC... and NPC is closed (obviously) because its the long weekend. (Who's gonna go to an evening service on the long weekend... besides me, of course...) Anyway, Jer and I go to my trailer and hang out with my mom and eat all her butter pecan squares (so...good...) come home, watch Star Wars, go to bed.

So I ended up hanging out with Jerry two days in a row doing nothing we expected to do. Note to self: phone ahead.

I'm an idiot.