Raining in December

Lonliness
Brings destruction
Like rain in December.

The Peacemakers

Listening to: Mars ILL (Featuring The Listener)- Mourning in the Morning And the only rap group that I can honestly say I enjoy delivers again, this time on album 2.5 (Their "official" third album being delayed till June, they decided to offer their fans something else in the meantime)Thanks to Jer for hooking me up with this, as a Christmas present. I don't know whether you'll convert me to rap, but now I have two Mars ILL albums, and it is because of you...

Last night I hung out with Shannon Culkeen for a while, then with Meaghan Culkeen today. Lots of fun and good chats. Tonight and tomorrow I'm working it up a notch from 3-11 each day. I think it's about time for a fun midday nap.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God" (From the beatitudes in Matthew Chapter 5)

Don't ever let me lose my head

Listening to: Damien Jurado & Gathered in Song- Lose My Head This is some cool tunes. Damien with a band and somewhat poppy music, who would have thought?

So, the following is the obligatory Christmas list of stuff I got:

Electronics:
- A CD-RW
- Headphones
- Fahrenheit 9/11 DVD (From Sarah)
- National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation DVD

Clothes :
- 7 Blank T-Shirts (various colours)
- mewithoutYou T-Shirt (From Amber)
- 2 Pairs of Corduroys
- 1 Pair of Jeans
- 1 Dress Shirt and Tie

CDs:
- Damien Jurado & Gathered in Song- I Break Chairs
-Stavesacre- Absolutes
- Sixteen Horsepower- Sackcloth 'n' Ashes
-Sixteen Horsepower- Olden

Other:
-Various candy and other fun items

Anyway, that is all.

Strong Man

Listening to: 16 Horsepower- Dead Run Picked up the "Olden" record today. Check out the lyrics to the song "Strong Man" below:

The strong man he will kneel down
While angels strip him of cloak and crown
Through bitter lips come vile breath
He is the last one to confess
There will be no pity for him
We must kill him where he stands
No there will be no mercy for him
Nor for any of his klan

There must be no hesitation
Get a rope an make it quick
Each last breath come from his mouth
I will beat it out with a stick
Pray boy you've no reservations
The word will be carried out
He is the one who brought down the Son
Let there be no God damn doubt

There is power
Wonder workin' power
In the blood of the Lamb
There is power
Wonder workin' power
In the precious blood of the Lamb-
(Strong Man by David Eugene Edwards, borrowing from an old hymn for the last stanza of course)

The Christmas Time

Listening to: Living Sacrifice- Bloodwork The song this blog is named after. I love this album. LS and "The Hammering Process" proved to me that there actually is quality metal from a Christian perspective.

Well, it's Christmas eve and it feels like yesterday... and the day before that... and the day before that. Anyway, Merry Christmas to you all anyway.

One step different

Tonight was the Bridge's Christmas Dinner. In a brief exhange with Carlo he mentioned that for both men and women, when it comes to being attracted to members of the opposite sex, it's not perfection that we desire, but difference. One step different than what we already have. It just keeps us unhappy enough to question God's blessings to us.

Let us all be thankful for God's blessings. If you're single, be joyful for that singleness, for it is a gift from God. If you're married, thank God for your partner, as God himself chose that person for you, and they are the greatest gift he will give you in this life. And if you are in a relationship, thank God for the priviledge to learn, and to share in another's life. Do not shy away from the responsibility before you.

Be thankful and joyful in what you have. Do not look for the one step different, trust in the Lord.

My Great Grandmother's Sewing Machine

Listening to: Sixteen Horsepower- Hutterite Mile

A couple days ago my mother was searching through my late great grandmother's sewing machine, and she found some navy blue iron on patches. Now some of my old pants that had some rather "unsightly" tears are fixed. And everything that is old is new again.

Six is our number

Listening to: Sixteen Horsepower- Flutter

So, it's rare that I buy an album without ever hearing the artist it's by ever before. Today I bought Sixteen Horsepower's "Folklore" record. Pretty much every review I have seen of this album has given it top marks (Doug Van Pelt and Jason Dodd of HM Magazine gave it 4.5 and 5 out of 5 respectively).

So this is a weird album. They classify themselves as "Goth-Country." The album consists of 4 originals, 4 traditional hymns, and two classic country covers (Hank Williams Sr. and the Carter Family). Even though over half the album is old songs, it sounds like the band wrote them themselves. It's very cohesive.

I'm not a country fan, but this album is actually quite enjoyable. It's very dark and dirge-like throughout. The standouts are "Horse Head Fiddle" with its droning crescendos and decrescendos, "Sinnerman," which is scary the same way Keith Green's "O God Our Lord" is scary, and the 4 originals, that make me want to buy 16HP's other records. This is recommended highly.

So, anyway, now that the album review is over...

I'm working 3-7:30 today, and 6-10 on Friday. Thursday is lunch with Chris and Saturday is Christmas. Crazy. I'm looking forward to the next few days. Rocks on. Or maybe, countrys on....

I'm sorry, but your princess is in another castle

Hey we haven't talked in a while.
I haven't seen you in years.
How's it going?
What are you going to do with your life?
(Could you know that now?)
I'm gonna have six kids,
Yeah, I'll draw the line at six.
No! Don't have six, have four
(It's a better number).
Yeah, I hit the nail on the head.
She's passive aggressive
And you never talk.

Once I had a dream that I'd get married,
(Far fetched I know).
We'd have seven kids all at once
Septuplets is what they call it, I think.
Or once another guy got you pregnant,
I raised his child with you.

Once upon a time I used to talk to you,
Hey, we haven't talked in a while.
How's it going?
Are you well?
Are you still alive?
(Sometimes I really wonder).
Once I held a girl's hand
And it made me feel real nice.
But it was a lie.

The CBA took my baby away

Listening to: My mom's Kalan Porter cd is playing downstairs, and I don't feel like drowning it out right now.

A depressing thought: Ok, as has already been established many times before, the "Christian music" industry is a ghetto for bad musicians and lyricists who compose predictable, repetitive garbage half of the time.

So what about the other half, the "Christian musicians" who actually create worthwhile art?

I've noticed a trend. One of two things will happen to these artists eventually:

1. They break mainstream, and get shunned by the CBA: For example: POD, Blindside, Zao, Sixpence, etc. These bands write good tunes, then get signed to major labels, then the CBA refuses to carry their records. (Oh, by the way, CBA=Christian Bookstores Association)

2. They get screwed by the industry, then get disgruntled: For example: Pedro the Lion, Ninety Pound Wuss, Chris Staples (twothirtyeight), Eric Campuzano (The Prayer Chain), Roger Martinez (Vengeance Rising), etc. May of these artists have grown to hate the CBA, and many have written bitter diatribes against it. In fact, Roger no longer claims to be a Christian.

Why does this happen? Because the CBA likes their artists in a little predictable bubble in which every song explicitly talks about Jesus and all the music is "Grandma" friendly.

Now, I don't want to completely diss the industry, I mean, ever once and a while I dig a Newsboys song. It's just that they would never make it outside the CBA, cause nobody would want to hear it. And I hate that people think that this is music made "for God." Hardly. It's music made for Christians by Christians, but I wouldn't say half the stuff in the CBA is actually made "for God."

It's also not a "ministry." Nobody outside of the church listens to the Newsboys. No one.

But thanks to labels like Tooth and Nail, that value good art, and have brought us many excellent musicians that are Christians, and write good songs. I mean... bands on Tooth and Nail are even responsible for inventing new genres that are popular in the mainstream right now. (Like metalcore? Ever heard of Zao's "Where Blood and Fire Bring Rest"?)

Anyway, enough ranting for now.

40 hour increments

Listening to: Ninety Pound Wuss- What I Am This is... um... interesting music. See. I went to the Shwa with Christopher Smith today for his Christmas shopping goodness, and of course I picked up a couple cd's while there. First, I got Twothirtyeight "You Should Be Living," cause people say Chris Staple's lyrics are good, and lo and behold, they are. Some good mellow stuff, kind of Pedro-ish. Then I got this cd. It's on HM's "Top 50 albums of the 90's" list. And as I said... interesting. This band is schizophrenic. I honestly don't know whether I like this or not.

So today was fun. Got my wisdom teeth pulled. Got two cd's. Now I owe my "education fund" $60.00 after I get my next paycheck.

Anyway, don't have much to say right now. Just kind of chilling enjoying my second day off of school.

Divided Allegiance

The fruitlessness of wanting:
"Well, I didn't come to bring you happiness-"
I could cry til the sun rises, idolatry is nice!
"I came here to divide
Brothers and sisters,
Mothers and fathers."
Maybe I just need to yell a little louder,
Pound at the door 'til it cracks.
I could crack your conscience.
I could break your patience.
Oh, won't you be mine?
You could be my little one!
I could hold you in my arms
Singing you all my self-indulgent songs!
"Turn all your smiles to frowns
All your laughing to tears,
Your house is coming tumbling down."
I just need to try a little longer.

PS: Christ isn't Santa Claus. He didn't come to make you happy.

Somewhere higher than this empty wasteland

Listening to: Stavesacre- Witch Trial "BUUURRRRNNNNIIIIIINNNN'!"

Today is my first official day of Christmas break. You may commence the stoning. The whole coffee thing last night never happened due to my parent's early bed times... Today I'm supposed to get together with Sarah to wrap Mark and Ellen's Christmas present. Actually, I'm supposed to be with her right now, except we all know that Sarah NEVER phones anyone on time.

Tonight at 7:00pm. A Christmas tradition will be continued. That is right. I will make the treacherous long trek to Christopher Smith's house...and I shall bring the famous movie... "The Muppet Christmas Carol" And we shall watch. Oh yes. Watch, and "consume mass quantities." (If you don't get that don't worry...)

Oh yeah, sanctification is a long crazy process, but also the best part of being alive. It proves that I am alive.

Props to Jer for lending me all his texts from last year...for like, six months. Yay for going to Bible college vicariously. Me looks forward to you coming to Trent next year. (Cause that is what you're going to do... right?)

Say no or yes, but don't promise

Listening to: Stavesacre- Blind Hope So, a long time ago, Jerry made me a compilation cd, and I lost it's tracklist the next day. There was one song I realluy dug on it, and I really wished I knew what it was. So I'm at Bluestreak records today after my date with Shannon, and I pop this album in the player. (I've been a nominal fan of Stavesacre for a while)...And Behold! Track two is the mystery song on the compilation! So now I own a Stavesacre record...

So today has been cool so far. I'm officially on Christmas break now. My first celebration involved going out for lunch with Shannon. It seems to me that we both have ridiculously busy schedules. Every time I see her it's a tease, not really enough time to get deep into anything. It's actually quite depressing. More reason to look forward to the Sunday after my birthday. Not tons of work, and I'll be spending the whole day with her, from Church to supper. That will be beneficial. (It will also be a month away from now, gah!)

So, the rest of today consists of:
1. Reading Jer's Holy Spirit Essay, editing, commenting and suchwise. (Oh yeah, do the poor boy a favour and post on his blog, linked above.)
2. Going out for the late night Timmy Ho's with Heather and Kim at 11:30pm. Rocks to the late nights.

I haven't spent enough time reading and praying. Too many essays (not an excuse.) Essays make me emo.

DONE!

I AM DONE ALL MY WORK!

Now I can go to bed and happily sleep, waiting for tomorrow to come...

One Day We All Will Be The Status Quo

So...now to follow the trend set by Jerry and Caleb. My list of the albums that have influnced me most this year:

mewithoutYou- [A]-->[B] Life and Catch For Us the Foxes: The first mwY album was pretty much my theme record this summer. It's concept of letting go of a loved one for the purposes of God consoled me during the summer months for obvious reasons. The second album has been the most listened to record I own in the past month or two. The song "The Soviet" is now my December song.

Further Seems Forever- Hide Nothing: I love FSF. This album is simple lyrically, but the hope that those lyrics show make the album.

Underoath- (They're Only Chasing Safety): Uh, Jer and Caleb said it all.

Dead Poetic- New Medicines: I listened to this album at least once through each day during a really tough time. It really did help. "This isn't war, but these are still battles."

Project 86- Songs to Burn Your Bridges By: This album I also listened to during the aforementioned tough time. Project always pulls it off.

Pedro the Lion- Control: In so many ways this album has been key. This album was key for knocking me out of legalism, this album was key for showing me that it's okay to be depressed sometimes. And most of all... All I ever have to do to bring me to my knees before God is pop this in the cd player. My prayer is that this will never be my life. That I will never be that man. Thank you David Bazan.

Sixpence None The Richer- S/T: I haven't stopped listening to this album all week. That says something. I'm really looking for that "burning bush type sign," at least, I am when I have time to.

Okay, enough procrastinating. Time to write my essay.

Don't Dream It's Over

Listening to: Sixpence None the Richer- Don't Dream It's Over Hey! If you go to the Sixpence Website you can listen to the WHOLE greatest hits record in its entirety! Killer!

So, I have THREE assignments due on Tuesday. THREE. One is an essay. I need to start it. BUT...I need to finish the other two before I can... Oh joy.

However...I do have a prize waiting for me at the completion of these tasks... namely, a date with one Shannon Brandon. Well worth the crunch time. I will be giving her her Christmas present at this time... She is giving me a joint Christmas / Birthday Present on Jan 14... so I'll have to wait till then.

Despite my workload, I'm pretty happy. Be happy too. And pray. It's always a good idea.

We would like to see a Burning bush type sign, but anything would be fine.

Listening to: Sixpence None the Richer- We Have Forgotten So I'm really digging Sixpence right now. Maybe it's cause I like pop more when I'm happy.

Ever feel like everything is great even though you have 4 assignments due in 6 days?
Ever wish that Christmas break was over before it started, 'cause better things were sure to follow?
Ever wish God would give you one of those Burning Bush type signs?
Ever fallen in love?
Ever want to know what that is?

I'm still running; I'm still learning.
But this time I'm not alone.

The Waiting Room

Listening to: Sixpence None the Richer- Love So, forget "Kiss Me," sure it's a pretty song, but these guys (and gal) rocked for so many better reasons. Like this song. " 'The harvester is near. His blade is on your skin to plant a new beginning.' Well then let the cut begin. I need love."

So I went out for dinner with Shannon last night at Grassroots. We had the BLT's (That's "Blackened tofu" by the way...) and fries with Mushroom gravy, and some killer black coffee.

We talked about lots of different things, and about us and everything, and how and what we are going to do, to do what we think we should do.

Are you lost yet? Trust me. I make sense. If you want to know what the conclusion was, feel free to talk to one of us. We'd be happy to share. Blogs can be so impersonal.

I need to do some work now.

And (you think) safety abounds.

Listening to: Pedro the Lion- Criticism as Inspiration

Then there's your girlfriend.
She opens her legs and
Gives your life meaning,
Is that what you lover her for?
(Pedro the Lion, from "Criticism as Inspiration")

I witnessed something rather disturbing at the Bridge last night. Mostly everything was solid...crazy solid. We stopped 4 fights before they started and enforced our "No getting fresh" (no making out) rule without much trouble.

However, I saw this "couple" on the couch. They weren't making out by any means, but the guy had his arm around the girl and was rubbing her hip area. I could handle that, he wasn't sucking her face off. But then she got up to leave, and he said "So, do you have a number" and she wrote her phone number and her name on his hand and left. Her phone number and her name!

Like, these two kids have never met each other before and he's freaking rubbing her hip and I was so disgusted. The worst part is, she asked me for a pen. As I handed it to her I couldn't help but think that I had just contributed to her downfall. Like, honestly I felt sick to my stomach.

It saddens me so much to see these kids treating their bodies like currency, giving parts of themselves away to anyone who smiles at them the right way. And, I used to be just like that. I've been single for almost four years now, but in my last relationship, before Christ became my saviour, all I really cared about was what made me feel good at the moment. I had no conception of things such as commitment, love, mutual building up, or even just being a friend to the person I was with, and it scares me half to death to know that I'm only three years away from these kids, sitting on a couch...giving themselves away cause they have nothing else to live for. Even worse, though I know how I'm supposed to do things, I still don't really know how to do that.

Listen, if you have stumbled across this:
You are not an object
Your body is not money
Your body can't be paid for with money
You are loved
You are valuable
Jesus Christ died so that you can live.

I know I sound like a cheesy preacher right now, but listen...

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 1 John 3:16 (NIV)

And now for the general updationating: Tomorrow is my second last day at St. Paul's for my con-ed. I'm also going out for coffee / maybe dinner with Shannon tomorrow night. This should be awesome fun.

Talk to you all later.

We'll be like Torches Together, Hand in Hand.

Listening to: mewithoutYou- Torches Together Got this back from Shannon yesterday. Hands down the best record of the year. Sorry Jer. Project is second. (Oh! The Blasphemy!)

Yesterday was good and such. Coffee with Shannon tended to be somewhat interrupt prone as every single person from LEC decided to visit us. Oh well. It was still swell in that wholesome 50's sense. Yay for that. I'll be getting together with her on Monday as well, for a bible study (note the lack of quotation marks). We'll be looking at the cheery topic of total depravity, and memorize some scripture. Man, I must be such a boring date. ("But Calvinism is never boring!" He replies to himself...)

Small group was unique, in that it was not a study (we had a Christmas / Birthday party) and it wasn't exactly small (at least 20 people came. Whoa.) On January 14 (Day after my Birthday) We will continue by doing a 2+ week study on "Who is the Holy Spirt?" We will also discuss the Spiritual gifts. (Which could lead to some... uh... "unique" discussion.)

And now, to close with the words of Jon Bunch (Further Seems Forever):

Run and Hide
Don't hide at all
Change is coming
Know it's nothing personal.

It's in my mind, all of the time.

Listening to: U2- Electrical Storm This song makes me want to run around outside in the rain. "Let's see colours that have never been seen, Let's go out places where no one else has been"

Going out for coffee with Jerry soon...followed promptly by coffee with Shannon...followed by Small Group and sugar... By the end of the night I'll feel like I'm on the best drug trip ever. It's all about coffee, sugar, and awesome people.

Tonight we'll be reading the 4 nativities, and discussing their different takes on the same event...Christ as man, God, Saviour, and King. Awesome stuff.

Jer just phoned, gotta go. See you all later. Rocks on.

Black coffee, caesar salad, awkward silence and the 12:00am bus.

Listening to: Pedro the Lion- Second Best After a morning of listening to poppy worship music, I decided for a bit of a change...a bit. Right.

So the dinner went well last night. I thought it was funny how stressed Amber was, until everyone was 20 minutes late then I got stressed too. Amber is a good host. And she makes killer food...I forgot my pie at her house, I'll have to pick it up today.

After the dinner, we chilled with our guests til 10:00, then did dishes til 11:00, sat around for 30 minutes, then we all went home. (except well, Amber, who was home.)

I rode the bus home with Shannon, that was cool, we had a good chat about lots of things that needed to be chatted about. This will most likely continue on Friday, when we have coffee before Small Group.

Well, life was simple for a day. I guess I'm the master at giving myself complications. But complications make life fun, right?