O God! The Blueprint Dives!

Listening to: Extol- In Reversal

So I walk into Emmaus, armed with the $20.00 my dad sent me for my birthday, ready to purchase the new Mae album... which they don't have.... BUT! Hold on! What do we have here?!

Norma Jean- O, God! The Aftermath and Extol- The Blueprint Dives I deliberated for a while, then said "screw it," they're only $14.99 and bought them both.

So Extol gets first listen. Let's see, theit first record was black metal, their second was death metal, and their third was thrash... they just picked up two former members of Lengsel the wonderful black metal band... and on the press shots one of the members is wearing a Sixteen Horsepower shirt... So I have no freaking clue what to expect.

Well, to shock us, the first song only has ONE screamed line and the rest is SINGING?!?! Don't worry though, they haven't gone soft. This album isn't any of the other styles they've played. It's definitely unique. The song "Pearl" actually reminds me of 16HP... anyway. More singing, more diverse. So far it's already better than Synergy. That's always a good thing.

I haven't heard the NJ yet, but it has the best album artwork I've seen in months, with a 28(!) page booklet that has two fold out pages.... Anyway. It's a metal evening.

Let's all get excited about etymology

Did you know that "venereal" and "venison" have the same etymological cognate? You learn something new everyday.

So I have four (4) assignments left for school this year, and one (1) school week left. In that one (1) school week, I have three (3) days of class. You do the math.

After that, I get to write exams, work full-time, and see THE CHARIOT AND UNDEROATH PLAY LIVE IN TORONTO!!!

I'm also looking forward to the $500 tax return I'll be receiving soon. This will give me a fun trip to Toronto... and allow me to start some special saving. It's all about the government sending me money recently. I'd better take advantage of it while I can. One day a white-haired old man in the house of commons is going to realize that he's given me too much money, and he'll send me a bill for 6 gillion dollars. Until then, thanks Canada.

And for the next week I get to learn about the New Christian Right, critical literary theory and etymological cognates. You have fun too.

As an afterthought

March 20, 2005 marked my 4th year as a Christian, but unfortunately I was too busy writing essays (and an ode to Jerry's Abraham Lincoln Beard) to notice. Anyway, thought I'd let you all know.

Oh Doubters...

So how's this for a killer thesis statement: "In his Epic poem Paradise Lost Milton uses sexual encounters to argue that the reason for the fall of man is the subversion of ascribed gender roles."

I'm enjoying my Paradise Lost essay. However I am not enjoying the prospect of finishing it and writing a 3000 word history paper in two days. But so it goes...

I got an album by The Cure the other day. They're um... unique?

I need to start saving money for something special.... if you don't know don't ask.

And finally, I will be attending a wonderful evening of Rock and Roll action courtesy of the wonderful bands Underoath and The Chariot, with my good friends Jerry and Caleb (both linked in the "other blogs" section), on April 22, 2005. Oh, The Chariot, how I love thee.

Nighty night time for me.

The Sun is going down...

"If anyone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen." (1 John 4:20)

I have been troubled for the last two months by this section of 1 John. I find it difficult to "love" my "brothers," or, "the church."

Anyone that knows me knows that I am a critic of the North American church. What you may not know is the extent of this "criticism." I hate the church. I hate it passionately. In class today I watched Roger and Me by Michael Moore, and when it showed an ignnorant Christian preacher preaching about how faith will bring material prosperity to a group of desperate people who have been layed off and evicted... It makes me question my faith in God. Seeing how seriously off-base the "evangelical Christian subculture" is makes me question if God even exists let alone showers his "blessings" on our "wonderful nation." Of course, questioning God has never got me anywhere.

What really makes me doubt is that I'm called to love the church?! But the church is full of materialistic capitalist bigots who would rather put a fish bumper sticker on their car than feed a starving child. (And God forgive me for thinking I'm better, me who owns over 200 cds) The church who calls itself pro-life, yet supports a war in Iraq that kills hundreds of innocent children. The church that is racist, sexist, self-righteous, and obsessed with image to the point of being pathetic. I mean, there are Bible colleges, run by people I respect that demand that students where suits! That is so pretentious! I'm really sure the freaking homeless man you're preaching to is damn impressed that you're richer than he is.

As you can see, this causes me difficulty. If I am so indignant towards my brothers, then how can I love God?

God gave me an answer today, while I was having a conversation with a non-Christian about my pro-life position. Our conversation was not confrontational. We discussed the issues in an open forum. My points included the following:

• People like George Bush who claim a pro-life position yet kill innocent children are not really pro-life.
• It is not an issue of women's rights, but of human rights. It is scientifically proven that the moment a sperm and egg connect that that embryo will under all natural circumstances grow into a baby and be born. It is a human. Since the right to life is the most important right, the mother's right to her sanctity of self ends where the baby's right to life begins.
• Abortion is not a good answer, adoption is a better solution.
• Abortion is actually a way of devaluing women. If sex doesn't equal pregnancy, sex becomes a commodity. Women's bodies become objects.

After I mentioned these, he conceded that I had made many good points that he would evaluate.

Since we were discussing hypocrisy, I brought up the above verse and said I find it difficult to love the church because the materialism of the North American church is such bullsh*t. I then mentioned that some Christians would immediately question my faith cause I used the word "sh*t." This reminded me of a quotation by a Baptist minister in New York City, which I will paraphrase for you. From a message to his congregation: "There are millions of starving children in the world. And you don't give a f*ck. What's even more sad, is that most of you care more that I just said 'f*ck' than you do about the starving children." Then, my friend said: "That's it! That's what I hate about organized religion!" (The lack or care.)

I responded, "But this comment came from someone on the inside. There is hope."

Then as he walked into his house it hit me: I can love God's children, the church, the people... and still hate the sterile bubble that we live in as a culture. By just being real with people, I can challenge their views of Christianity... aand by being real with Christians, I can challenge the accepted "standards" of the North American church... which by the way, are strictly North American.

But first, I must challenge myself to fully live for Christ... to be truly devoted to bring him glory and building his kingdom. Only then will I myself put aside my own materialism and actually pick up my cross and follow Christ.

Won't you come with me?

I don't believe this is what God ever intended
I think it's time to go

The sun is going down
I say we follow it out of town.
We've been here for far too long,
but will they know we're gone?
And in the morning when it rises
Maybe it will shine for us-
Mark Salomon, Stavesacre.

The Lovers

Be my refrain
Because the lovers, they inflame me.
I think I'll sleep alone tonight.
(Ah, but I never had the choice!)

If all love belongs to you,
Put your heart upon my chest.

And the Godless sing along:
"Somebody! Somewhere! Love me!"
Amen, Christ. Come.

Note: The late atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair (who formed the group "American Atheists," and is responsible for the removal of prayer from public schools in the USA) filled her journal with the phrase "Somebody! Somewhere! Love me!"

The relationship between Orthography and Phonology.

Listening to: Sense Field- Horse is Alive Due to Jon Bunch's wonderful performance on FSF's new record, I thought I'd check out his old band Sense Field. This album, "Living Outside," was their last record. It's pretty good. The best song is this one, which is a secret bonus track. Go Figure.

I am currently writing an essay on the novel "Riddley Walker" by Russell Hoban. All you linguistic types should read this. It's messed.

By the way, Jerry really does have an Abraham Lincoln beard, but he calls it a "chin strap..." but we know the truth. Oh yes... we know the truth.

Anyway. Time to continue my essay goodness.

Jerry Bolton has an Abraham Lincoln Beard

Tuna salad
moldy cheese
Abraham Lincoln Beard

It's so hot (I think I'm gonna have a heat stroke).

Abraham Lincoln Beard

"Oil, Oil, in the bathroom..."

Only Katherine will get that title.

Anyway, I just cleaned and oiled my plugs (in the bathroom), and now my ears are nice and happy. No more itchy shampoo gunk. Yay.

Robbie led the bible study tonight, and decided to perform the modest task of chronciling the entire spiritual history of the planet. He did well actually, although we did only spend ten minutes on the major and minor prophets... But seriously now, I was challenged (once again) by 1 John 3 and Romans 8. They're the bomb(s). No joke, read 1 John 3 and cry... read Romans 8 and be filled with complete awe and joy.

My next study is on Isaiah 6... the proper response to a Holy God. I guess before I teach it I should start properly responding to our Holy God, now shouldn't I?

Tomorrow work 9-1 then Bridge action. Grand.

;

I cannot think without these words you've given me.
This language is flawed.

Consider the semi-colon; it allows me to stop
without really stopping.
And aren't these line
Breaks confusing?

I could lament the cultural appropriation of my soul,
But you could not hear me
Without these words.

I hate blogger

Blogger is a stupid idiot

Rehearsed indifference tossed aside.

Our narrow arms spread wide,
"What unseen hand etched eternal things
In the hearts of humankind,
But never let them in our minds?"
(aaron jonathan weiss, mewithoutYou.)

There are a few things I need to care about less. Or at least spend less time on. And there are a few things I need to care about more, and spend a whole lot more time on.

I don't want to be indifferent to Jesus Christ and all he holds dear any longer.

Studies and Timmy's.

Listening to: Starflyer 59- Fell in Love at 22 Makes me happy.

Just got back from Bible study. Heather did an excellent job, focusing on the prophecies of Christ and their fulfillments. Rock on.

I lent Daniel Catch for Us the Foxes by mewithoutYou, and I'm going to be making Heather and Natalie a 16 Horsepower compilation cd. Yay for spreading the tunes.

Well, me works tomorrow 7-3. See ya.

Praise Ye the Lord

All my hymns are paperthin
hymns of men.
Only the clouds listen tonight,

when I lift my hands and sing.
This gold band upon my finger
becomes a fetter, binding me to you.

"F" Word

Listening to: Anberlin- Never Take Friendship Personal

WARNING: The following blog contains language that may not be appropriate for all readers. Reader discretion is advised.

So, tonight at TCF I said a naughty word. I'm not exactly sure if it was appropriate or not, but I shall tell the story:

We were discussing how one can draw nearer to the Lord, and the thing that came to my mind (right after reading the Bible and praying) was: honesty. I wanted to tell the group how I realized that was important, so I related a personal story, but did so in general second person so that anyone could relate. This is it motly word for word:

"I think honesty is really important. I mean, if you're thinking 'Gee, today f*cking sucks,' and yes... I know I just said the "F" word, but I said it for a reason. If that's what you're thinking, but when you pray you say, "God I don't really like today." Well, you're lying to God. HE can see everything in your heart anyway, he knows everything, he's omnicient. So, you sould tell him exactly what you're thinking, cause that's what he wants to hear."

I don't know how everyone took it. I think some people agreed. Some people rebuked me and implied that saying f*ck was a sin. Some people were most likely confused. And I think some people were so concerned that I just publically said a swear word in a Christian environment, to the entire 70-person group, that they completely missed everything I said after that word.

There probably was a better way to say it.

I can't help but think about what I read in my devotion this morning:

I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. (Romans 14:14-23, ESV)

Now, I know this passage isn't speaking about language. It's talking about how some believers who were weak in faith could not eat the food that was sacrificed to idols without connecting it to their previous sinful life. Other believers who were stronger, realized that idols didn't actually exist and that all food is good so why not eat it? The verse in bold is the one I'm thinking about. The point of it is, "Don't make a weak believer stumble because of what you know is okay." Now, I don't think saying f*ck is neccessarily good or bad. It is a word. Words tend to be amoral, it's all in how we use them. I can say "Oh my God," and depending on my attitude I could be addressing God in prayer or taking the Lord's name in vain.

The same goes for the word "f*ck." Speaking etymologically, the word is a vulgar way to say "sexual intercourse." Now, in modern days, it can also be used as an exclamation or intensifier (as my example in my little quip tonight illustrates.) Clearly the word has some appropriate uses. For example I could say "A prostitute f*cks people for a living." Since the word is a vulger way to say "sex," and a prostitute engages in vulgar ungodly sex, yeah, that's a good use of the word.

Other uses tend to be less appropriate. Clearly, saying "F*ck you!" to someone is sinful, but the reason is the attitude. I could say "You're stupid" and it would be just as sinful.

Which brings me back to my example. My example probably would be a sinful way to say the word. Saying "Today f*cking sucks." betrays an attitude of negativity and a lack of appreciation for the day that "the Lord has made." But that was my point. If that sinful attiude is in my heart, bt I'm not exposing that to the Lord, I'm not going to be able to draw close to him. This happened to be. I said. "God, this f*cking sucks. My life is bullsh*t, everything is such bullsh*t." Then I proceeded to repent for my, well, sh*tty attitude. Being honest with God is the first step to repentance and drawing near to him.

But I shouldn't have said that word at TCF. Sorry to those I offended. (If you actually will read this at all.)

Anyway, I'm out.

(Side note: It's interesting that when I sat down to write this I was unsure if it was right or wrong to say the word at TCF, then through thr wrting, I realized I shouldn't have.)

Dance, Dance, Dance (My beautiful girl).

Listening to: Anberlin- The Runaways So... catchy... can't... resist.... AHHHHH!!!!!

So I walk into Chumleigh's (local awesome used cd store), not intending to buy an album, and lo and behold, the first disc I see is the new Anberlin album, "Never Take Friendship Personal." Score. You know, I'm starting to feel guilty that I find all the deals and Jerry goes without dinner. Poor starving music boy. Love to you....

Anyway, this is the type of album I want to hate. Mostly predictable pop rock. But it's got good lyrics and it's so darn catchy I can't help but listen to it three times through in the past 2 hours... The whole album is good, with no fillers, but there are definitely some standouts, for instance, the title track (with guest vocals by Ryan Clark of Demon Hunter?!), "Paperthin Hymn," which is a perfect single, and the 7 minute closing track "Dance, Dance Christa Paffgen," which is the best song on the record, by far. Here's hoping their next album gets more experimental in the vein of this song. (which also has a guest performance, this time Michael Weiss from mewithoutYou on guitar.) Speaking of guest musicians, there's tons, but they (wisely) never overpower the band, and you can hardly tell they're there most of the time. Oh yeah, gotta love the title "A Heavy Hearted Work of Staggering Genius," for a one-minute instrumental. Anyway, I'll be playing the heck out of this one at the Bridge.

Tonight I plan on actually attending TCF. That will be fun.

.safety.

Listening to: Denison Witmer. Such pretty ballads.

Note to eveyone in who will be in Peterborough this summer:

I intend to organize an art / photography / poetry show that will (ideally) be displayed in a local coffee shop. This show will have the theme: .safety. Any submissions are welcome, and I encourage collaborative effort among different artists. Feel free to submit more than one piece, but be prepared to explain how the piece reflects the theme.

That will be all for now, if you would like to be involved leave a comment with your e-mail address, and if you already know that I want you involved (ad those people know who they are) please be in contact.

This has been a message from your local dead guy named Shine.

Done.

I... am.... done.. . my sessay. but since I canot spel any more cause I m' tso tired, I think I 'll go to bed.

... in a studio apartment with a cat for a wife.

Listening to: The River Bends- Are You Lonely? This song makes me think of a person I love very much. "Give me back a day I know which one, where the pink light of your room matched the pink light of the summer. Are you lonely? Cause I've been lonely. Are you tired? Cause I've been tired. And I'm right now on the phone, to remind you just how close we've grown." sniff...

So, I'm six pages, 1442 words, and 30 footnotes into my essay, and I still have two arguments and the conclusion to write. YAY FOR LONGEST ESSAYS!

I made a mellow compilation cd tday, of all quiet songs that make me feel all emotional and stuff. You should too. It's good for the soul.

I lose you a bit each day when I open my mouth. Other human beings have emotions, too.
It scares me to think that three words bring you to tears, but it just proves you love me. Sometimes I wish that nothing I could ever do would have any effect on anyone, but then I would be alone. And that would be Hell. I was there once. It made me hate humanity, it took years for me to see a redeeming quality in anyone. You give me hope for the human race. That's why I love you.

Heel on the Shovel (For Shine)

Listening to: 16 Horsepower- Heel on the Shovel Hey rock boy...yeah, you. Do you think country sucks? Do you think that banjo and accordion are wussey instruments? Listen to 16HP and hang thy head in shame. Blasphemer. Oh yeah, cool side note: In the new issue of HM (which btw, is the best issue in like a year... and that's saying a lot for a mag of this calibre), on page 51, Extol Guitarist John Robert is wearing a 16HP "Olden" shirt. That of course, makes an OCD guy like me look forward to the new Extol even more...

Work today was pretty decent. Got to work with Sarah, and that's always fun. Gosh, it's almost been a year that I've known her now. May 31 2004 was the first time went out for coffee. Look at all that has happened in a year. (Heck, this blog acts as a document of our friendship.) I look forward to many years of friendship with Sarah. If you read this: Love you lots.

God manages to keep his still small voice talking. No matter what I try to drown it out with . I guess listening is the key, eh?

Canadian Politics = Utter Crappiness

Listening to: Twothirtyeight- The Sticks Are Woven in the Spokes Oh yeah, for the record, it's NOT 238. "238" is an arabic numeral that is read "Two-hundred thirty-eight." It's written, and pronounced "Twothirtyeight."

Okay, So I'm a Christian. That means that I am inherently screwed politically. The reason is the binary nature of Biblical Christian Politics.

Here's how:

Ethically I am a conservative. This means pro-life, anti-homosexual marriage, anti-euthanasia, and I'm a young Earth Biblical creationist. These positions are based upon my faith in God, and the view that not only is God sovereign, but that all life is valuable and sacred.

Economically I am a liberal. That means I support public heathcare, the welfare state, lowered tuition fees, affordable housing, living wage as minimum wage, and free shelters for the homeless. (And ideally no homelessness.) These views are also consistently Biblical, as Christ healed the sick, and fed the hungry. Also, the early church took care of the "alien, fatherless and the widow." Not to mention the second greatest commandment being "love your neighbour as yourself."

So, where does this leave me? Well, unfortunately there is not a single viable party to vote for that is ethically conservative and economically liberal. It seems that an ethical view of human life goes hand in hand with ecomomic exploitation; and social support goes hand in hand with the devaluing of human life. Is it just me or does this make no freaking sense at all?!

Therefore, whenever I vote, I am either pissing on my ethics or my ecomomic security (No to mention my children's.) Now comes the question:

Do I hand my children an immoral state in which they have material security, or a moral society that screws them economically?

And that begs the question: Can a society be moral if it is completely focused on material profit to the exclusion of all else? And can a society be socially conscious if it devalues humanity at the most base levels?

This is my dilemma. I have no solution.

"Wasn't that a wonderful meal?"

Well, I just had homemade Chili, and yes, it was.

Four years ago I took an Alpha course and the MC would always say that after we ate. It was one of those rhetorical questions. Once we had fried chicken. Yum.

And if you've noticed, I now how some links to the side. Please, feel free to do some linking action. First I've got my friend's blogs. They're fun too. Then the awesomest bands: go to their websites; buy their albums. Then, my other favourite things, E-Sword, FREE bible study resources, very handy. Also, Gospelcom, containing every modern translation available to view for free. Decapolis and Phantom Tollboth: balanced culture and music websites; from a Chrisitan perspective, but not bound to the evangelighetto.

And finally, Rock for Life, because life starts at conception, and anyone who argues that is ignorant. I'm sick of our culture, which promotes materialism and promiscuity with it's right hand, and birth control and abortion with it's left. Think about it: Sex and money are glorified, and even deified in our culture, but the only thing that all humans are blessed with, our very lives are trivialized and seen as expendable. We can be such freaking morons.

So check out the links, and eat some "wonderful meals." They're good for you.

How to make friends and influence people

So that last post got some response... I guess the way to get comments is to post inflammatory stuff. Hmmm... well, nothing crazy for you today.

I am in love with the band twothirtyeight. I bought their album "You Should Be Living" thinking it was on the HM top 50 albums of the nineties... turns out it wasn't, and the pic I remember seeing of it was an advertisement. So there you go: advertizing works. But any way, the album is super cool jazzy emo rock, with lots of fun guitar lines, weird chord progressions and thought provoking lyrics.

I wouldn't call it a "concept" album, but there seems to be a theme of disillusionment with society running throughout the album. There are three songs that repeat the line "that sad and holy glow," at the beginning, middle, and end of the record. That line itself sums the album up: Our society is full of "sad" and "glowing" objects, that we often treat as "holy" though they leave us empty. (Such as TV, stereos, computers, whatever.)

The album is highly emotional and thought provoking and I couldn't recommend it more. The band is now broken up, but lead singer Chris Staples is now a member of Discover America. Check them out too.

Anyway, time to continue my essay.

Failures of the past (or, why I hate youth group.)

As my mind often does, recently, it has wandered back to 2001.

For those of you who do not know, 2001 was significant because it was the year I became a Christian, the year I started going to church and youth group, and for most of the year I was in what has proved to be the longest lasting and most "intimate" relationship I ever had with a girl. (And I mean "intimate" in good and bad ways.)

I have come to hate youth groups. Again, for those of you who aren't part of the North American evangelighetto, a "youth group" is often held at a church, and is designed to be a place where Christian kids can be socialized with other Christian kids. It also acts as a form of social conditioning. Kids hang out with their safe Christian friends listening to their safe Christian music and "evangelize" any non-Chistian friends they have by bringing them to over-emotional, noisy, "youth-rallies" where many teens make a hyper emotionalized "decision for Christ" that they are terribly incapable of following up on.

Now, even though I hate certain parts of the youth group culture, I must admit that during my two years in one, I learned a great deal about God and made some good friends at the time. I even enjoyed some of the youth rallies.

Of course, eventually I became the standard "disgruntled Christian kid" and swore off youth groups because of their flaws, an forged ahead alone. I picked up some nasty un-youth group like habits, such as listening to "secular" music, and using some choice naughty words at times.

The biggest problem with youth groups is their rate of failure. The following is a re-cap of my youth group experiences at my former church.

DISCLAIMER: In no way do I want to slam those who went to, led, and were involved with this youth group. Nor do I wish to diminish any positive experiences that I and other had in this group. I want to, by ways of illustration, show the general failings of the youth group subculture using a case study.

When I began at the YG, there was about 8 people, including two girls. Within a year, due to some passionate members, we increased to about 20 members with many girls. There was a period of great organization and commitment in which many people seemed to be drawing nearer to the Lord. However, the group fostered gossip, and eventually some of the most passionate members up and left, then everyone else just slowly dwindled away.

Out of the 20+ people in that group, I still have contact with a mere 4. I konw of at least 2 people from the group that I would not classify as Christians. There is at least one who has adopted bad liberal theology, and one who has become so disgruntled with church that he will no longer even go. The current group at the church has about 8 people, and shows some promise.

But here's the problem: there is always a few people whose passion carries the group, and without them, the group falls apart.

I call for a reformation of the system. I will strive for one.